Amy Silverman: Fear Or Exhilaration? It's All About Perspective

By Amy Silverman
Published: Tuesday, March 24, 2015 - 8:22am
Updated: Tuesday, March 24, 2015 - 8:23am
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(Photo courtesy of Amy Silverman)
Sophie sings at her choir recital.

When Sophie has good news, she practically vibrates.
 
“Hey Mom, hey Mom, hey Mom, guess what happened today?! I got a solo in choir!” she told me one night after school.
 
“Really?” I asked. Sophie doesn’t usually make things up, but I was a little skeptical. When it comes to certain matters –- height, the ability to ride a bicycle and, yes, singing -- my younger daughter got hit with a genetic double whammy. Not only does she have Down syndrome, which can affect muscle tone and the ability to do things like hit the high notes, she’s my kid. There’s a lot I can’t do.
 
But I am a pretty good nag. And apparently Sophie had nagged her choir teacher into giving her a solo at the school’s upcoming concert.
 
Sophie is an exuberant singer, but pitch is not her strong suit. I was proud. And not entirely surprised.
 
As she’s made her way through the first year of junior high, Sophie’s proved to be her own best advocate. There are principals, counselors, aides, even a lawyer in the background, but it’s Sophie who demanded that a drama club be created when there wasn’t one, and it’s not enough that she’s included in general education Language Arts – she’s been begging the teacher to move her up to the advanced class. It’s true that with modifications, Sophie appears to hold her own in Language Arts, but I don’t think that one will happen.
 
“My teacher told me I can’t move up because of my NWEA scores,” Sophie said.

Sophie doesn’t do well on standardized tests; I just hope the teacher didn’t mention to her that her scores are in the first percentile.
 
On the night of the concert I dropped Sophie off early to practice, dressed in the too-big standard-issue polo shirt and a black skirt she’d pulled up way too high – practically under her armpits -- despite my pleas. She looked like a teeny, tiny character in a Saturday Night Live skit – but a really happy one.
 
I took my seat in the bleachers with the other parents and scanned the program. The choir teacher had kept her word –- pretty darn close, at least. Sophie had a duet. She bounced in her seat, more than ready to take the stage. 
 
The next day, the choir teacher would show the kids the video of their performance and Sophie’s aide would report that Sophie got upset when she realized the microphone was way too high for her to be heard and the other girl in the duet had drowned her out.
 
But that night, standing in front of the crowd, swaying a little from side to side and belting out the chorus, it was the best day of Sophie's life.
 
Amy Silverman is managing editor of Phoenix New Times. She blogs about her daughter Sophie at GirlInAPartyHat.com.